Forgiveness

How do you forgive those who have hurt you most deeply? Those who were supposed to love you and be there for you and not only failed, but refused to do so, and at times even hurt you intentionally while they knew you were already in agony? I call that "friendly fire." It's like being in a war zone and getting shot in the back by the people on your own side. And then, when you are screaming in agony, they shoot you again. I don't know how to do it. Just when I think I've forgiven, I can feel the pain and see the hurt in my life towards those who have caused it. I am identifying the three greatest wounds as my church, my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law. I guess if I include Lisa, there are four. There are other friends who have done the same, but I think I've made peace with them. I don't know how to forgive the first ones, though, or if I even want to. I know I have to. (But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15). I'm just being honest here. I fight it in my heart every day, but when the people you are trying to forgive continue to do things to hurt you, how do you really move on? Lord, I need your help because I can't do this on my own. Please help me truly forgive, from my heart.