My favorite movie of all time is "Parenthood" with Steve Martin. I absolutely love every second of that movie and could watch it over and over again. But I remember one part in particular that strikes me every time I watch it. It's probably the reason I love the movie. There is a scene where Martin and his wife are arguing about their chaotic, out-of-control, "messed up" life in front of his wife's grandmother right before their son's play. The grandmother interrupts the argument to tell this story about the rollercoaster. She says, "I love the rollercoaster. It goes up and down and up and down. It's so exhilarating!" He rolls his eyes and says, "Gee, thanks Grandma!" and stomps off like a 3-year old boy. Next thing you know, he is in the audience during his 8 year old son's play and everything goes awry. His own 3-year old sneaks up onto the stage and ruins the play, the set comes crashing down, kids are screaming and running everywhere and the audience is laughing hysterically. As we are watching this scene, the ticking of a rollercoaster going up the incline to the big hill plays in the background and the camera zooms in on Martin, making it look like he is on the ride. His teeth are clenched and he is whiteknuckled to his chair through the hysteria with his eyes tightly shut, hoping it would soon be over. His wife, on the other hand, is laughing out loud and thoroughly enjoying the thrill of the chaos surrounding them. Finally, he loosens his grip as we hear the rush of the rollercoaster flying down the big hill and people screaming with delight and, finally, a smile breaks on his face and he starts enjoying "the ride." Could it be that I am finally enjoying the ride? Or is it that God has finally letting me feel the strength He has been meticulously building in me over these last grueling almost 15 months? Whatever it is, I sit here today facing surgery and the uncertainty of whether or not I will ever conceive another child of my own, yet I am full of joy, expectation and peace. I am exhilarated at the possibilities of the future and enjoying the present. And I'm refusing to live in the pit. Is this what Paul meant when he said, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances?" It is definately something that is learned and does not come naturally. Anyway, nothing is certain right now except that God is still on His throne and He holds the future in His hands. So, for now, I am riding the rollercoaster and supernaturally trusting Him for a safe landing ...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~ Jeremiah 29:11-13
