Ladies, those of you who have gone on to have a sub-baby (or adopted), do you still have that longing when you go to the playground, children's museum, soccer games, etc. where there are "normal" families and wish you had what they have? Does it ever go away? Will having Hope (the baby girl we are adopting from Russia) really make me feel better or at least help make it hurt less? I am longing to hold my sub baby in my arms and whenever I go anywhere that includes families of small children, my heart is all over the place. One minute, it's joy knowing that Hope will be here soon! The next it's envy and pain, wishing Abby were here so I could be like "them" and not live with these thoughts, wanting to be "normal" and wanting to hold my little girl. Will I ever feel normal again? It's not the same as the gut wrenching pain of loss that we experienced in the early days, months and weeks of grief. I just hate how I feel when I'm around families who have never had to struggle to have what they take for granted. And we're working so hard and have had to wait so long for it happen! I think Jeannie's post about what to do when you don't get your rainbow has stirred me up. That and all of the delays and threats by the Russian government to suspend international adoptions. I'm just wondering if I will always look at these other families and not have all these thoughts about what our life "should" be? Or if when Hope gets home, things will change?
MISSing Abby and waiting for Hope!
